John hung up the phone and smiled at it in a sad way. "So that was it...is this really the only way?" he thought out loud. He had spent the last few minutes on the phone with Carl, his long time friend, catching up a bit, after so many time being away. In a way he was happy with his friend's news. "Everything is fine" he heard on the other side of the line. And even if he consciously recognized that it was something to be happy for Carl, he simply couldn't manage to do it. Something in his tone. "Everything's fine? Great, but 'fine' is not 'good', and he deserves 'good'...not some half spoken lame 'fine'...i mean, is this really the only way?" His friend sounded contempted, resigned, somewhat tired of fighting. He seemed filled with the "if you can't fight'em, join'em" kinda feeling. The phone reeked of disappointment "it gets tougher as one gets older i guess", thought John.
He, as an 'average Joe', 'everyday man', didn't ask much, but he did ask for something and he tried hard not give up on what he thought and believed was best for him. He couldn't settle for less. There was no compromise here. He had to have it like he wanted it. Even realizing by now that much of 'what he wanted' had fallen of the wagon along the rocky road he treaded. Even realizing that some amount of 'compromises' had been taken. "Well, maybe not compromises" he tried to reason "but...err...let's say small adjustments, one or two upgrades (or downgrades?) brought by all the learning that the simple act of living usually brings to everyone". But changes nonetheless. And there's a fine line between 'compromises' and 'changes'. "It's hard to keep staying true to oneself, and i suspect it won't get any easier. I have my way, my chosen way. It's a leap of faith yes, but one has to hold on. Unless..."
Everyone has its moments of weakness....what if Carl was right?
Gunther Dünn
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