Jules sighed and closed the door. He stopped for a few seconds on the door step, trying to recollect himself after the painful minutes he had in there. A sort of relief in a way, but at the same time quite painful. It burned as hell yes, but he was hoping that the fire he just went through would help his wounds to heal quickly...eventually. "Free through fire and ash, better than to go down in flames i guess".
An ambulance sped quickly through the street avoiding obstacles almost in a magical way. "One can only hope for the best, as ellusive as it may seem...always", he thought with a dark grimace scaring his face.
He sighed briefly and looked at the street, bulging with activity and stress. People all over, rushing back and forth on both sidewalks, looking at shop windows, constantly entering and exiting of the seemingly neverending string of stores, as if in a coreographed ballet. Groups of annoying teens giggling all the way through the street, cars, buses, vans, motorcycles, all of them engaged in an underground war of "who-gets-there-first". People, people everywhere, walking and acting as there would be no tomorrow, slipping, bumping, stooping, running. And suddenly he felt detached of all that rubbish that went on before him. He felt angry at everyone and everything he saw. "Yeah, i know everyone has problems and issues to deal with. But what the fuck do YOU know about my god damned problems and issues? Nothing at all. And i bet you wouldn't even give a rat's ass about them anyway!"
Maybe a bit harsh yes, but Jules decided to allow himself to get a little bit out of control and irrational. He let his anger wash over him in a heartfelt and warm way. I was a good therapy, once in a while. Maybe he should try it more. He felt tired of comprehending, understanding, hearing everyone and everything, when, as it seemed, no one gave him the grace of a similar feedback. Everyone seemed so focused on themselves...
"What a fucked up world i found myself living in. I simply can't understand it, and i'm feckin' gettin' tired of trying to. Sometimes i doubt if it is really worth it". He reflected again on what went on in that sad living room in the house behind him. He shook his head in a somewhat shocked disbelief.
"People are getting distracted of what really matters. Or maybe what really matters to me isn't that important anymore. Maybe it's out of date, demodè, unfashionable." These thoughts weren't exactly novelty. They lurked around his head for quite some time. But he kept paddling onwards. What else could he do? That was him. And he couldn't change that much. Well, he couldn't but apparently a lot of people could. Some people, as it seems, changed so much beyond the point of true disappointment. "Change is needed, but do some people need to change so much that they become someone else? Everywhere you go, anywhere you are...someone or something is bound to disappoint you. And that the utter truth about life. In fact, disappointment and death are the only two assured things in life!"
He went down the steps into the street and started to walk away throught he street, plunging deep into the activity he had just been observing from a slightly upper point.
"So," - he went on thinking while wandering aimlessly- "it appears that we live in a difficult world, a world where the grass is always greener on the other side. Most of the times it's nothing but an optical illusion, but that's not a lesson learned, because there's more grass on the other side, there's always more grass, and more grass. And it's funny how it always seems greener. We live in a difficult world, and we manage to make it even more difficult. The constant yearning, the constant craving is tearing us apart. Killing us. Where are the simple things of life?
People nowadays struggle to be constantly on the move, always going forward, because forward is the future. No matter what they leave behind because sure as hell they won't need it there, where the grass is greener and everything will sort it self out. Hello? Nothing will sort itself out damn it! It's up to everyone of us to sort things out.
Unsatisfaction rules the World. So people rush forward, keeping themselves in constant motion. They strive to be always on the move chasing an illusion of change for the better, an illusion of developpment. In fact they're running away, giving up. It seems it's easier to keep running than to just stand still and face things, and really, but really and truly decide what they want for themselves. It's so simple and easy. And we manage to ruin it. The real courage is indeed to stand still and deal with IT.
People seem lost, confused. Seeking refuge, a safe harbour in blogs, twitters, facebooks and social networks of every kind. Searching everywhere...when sometimes the answer is right there under our noses. Oh well.
Jules reached the end of the street and he looke behind him into the organized confusion that still went on. "Well, i maybe wrong, but i don't wanna have anyhing to do with THAT!" And he disappeared through one of those ever present New York back alleys.
Gunther Dünn
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para a última hora. Mas que diabos? Aquilo tinha datas e horas marcadas. Enfim. 
